In a previous post “PDA: Isla in School”, I mentioned that some sources estimate that ~70% of children with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) are or will be school refusers.
It is no secret that I have a passion that literally keeps me up at night to reform special education in my state… not for Isla. For all of the mommas that call me weekly with horror stories, for all the incredible special education teachers that are so burned out, overwhelmed and feel helpless with an unresponsive administration, for all the children.. oh my heart… for all the children who are made to feel like they are bad and are disciplined daily for behaviors they exhibit directly related to a diagnosis they didn’t ask for and have never been properly taught how to cope with.
I want to tell you a story.
I story about me getting it all wrong when it came to special education in the public school system.
I just wanted to help, really I did. I wanted everyone to know about PDA and ABA therapy and autism and trainings … I just wanted to help.
So last summer I posted this post on all of my social media pages.
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Ooohhhhh something sooooo exciting is coming!!!!!!
Will you help me?
I am looking for the absolute best, I mean the most innovative and compassionate and kind-cultured school district in the state of Texas specifically when it comes to Special Education.
Do you know a school? Do you work there? Is your child there now or was there previously? Will you share your experience with me?
You see, as parents and teachers we all want more. We all want reform. We all have concerns. But we will not stand by and be a generation of complainers.
Nope.
We can and will create solutions. We will bring to the surface the exceptional special education models in the most creative way we can think of so that everyone can follow suit. And for those that don’t follow suit, their priorities will be very clear and help parents and teachers easily decide where to place their children and careers, their time and talents.
Please click the link in my BIO if you want to submit a special education program that is AmAzInG!
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I sat back and refreshed every minute thinking that my inbox would be flooded instantly. I daydreamed about how I would put all this valuable information together. A blog series? A vlog? A documentary!?
A day went by, a week, a month…
I got four submissions in three months and one submission was a private school specializing in autism.
That left me three schools/school districts to research. I checked out their website and social media platforms and decided to get in touch with their special education directors for an interview and onsite visit.
I was all in and fully invested ready to spend my own money to create a visual roadmap for all other schools to follow.
I called multiple times, left voicemails and messages with secretaries multiple times, I emailed multiple times, (ugh I hate to admit this one) I looked up the directors on Facebook and Twitter and sent private messages multiple times.
Nothing. Not one returned call, email or message.
This did not deter me one bit.
I asked around among my friends and family to see if they knew anyone who worked for those districts.
After a lot more help from friends and even more Facebook stalking I was able to get one teacher from each school on the phone for a call.
I had a list of like 20 questions.
I wanted to know what made their campus or district so unique when it came to special education.
I asked about curriculum, policy, sensory rooms, buddy programs, trainings, ABA, inclusion playgrounds, student-teacher ratios, administrative support, parent programs, behavior reporting, adaptive PE… all of it.
Guess what I found?
Guess what they all had in common from the questions I asked?
Nothing.
Every single person answered every single question differently. Every single school was functioning with no common denominator from the questions I asked.
BUT … one day I sat down to review the phone call notes to see where I went wrong and I noticed that for each of the three schools I wrote the same thing regarding the special education leadership and team.
All 3 teachers from different cities and schools used words like “innovative” and “huge heart” and “passion” when describing their special education leadership and team.
It just so happened that I wrote the same words to describe the teacher I was interviewing as I listened to their tone and sensed their vibe.
You see, it didn’t matter what curriculum or program or playground or sensory room or training or PE class they tried in their classroom and districts, the point is THEY TRIED IT ALL. They were willing to try A LOT of new and innovative ways to create a kind environment where students belong and their social and emotional well-being was valued. They were never satisfied with minimum state requirements because they knew those requirements were crap and their morals and ethics would not allow them to ignore the fact that these students deserved more. If there was a problem, a deficiency, a parent request or need, they would brainstorm vigorously, trust the trial and error process, and try again until it was right.
I was wrong.
This special education problem is not entirely about money.
It’s about compassion for people way more than about a passion for teaching. It’s about a conviction that calls for equality that stirs so deep in the hearts of special education teachers and leaders. It’s about people who are not OK with how their special education program is going and are willing to speak up and make change. It’s about ENGAGED parents who want a seat at the table and educate themselves as much as possible about their unique child so they can be active participants in the decision making. It’s about educators who don’t wait for TEA to tell them what to do so they can meet the minimum requirements. It is about educators and administrators who ANTICIPATE issues, FORESEE problems, are NEVER satisfied with the status quo and work just as hard for the student with ENGAGED parents as the student with ABSENT parents.
You see, I could fight for my state legislation to set a mandatory student-teacher ratio for all self-contained classes, I could push for ABA trainings and BCBAs to be allowed in schools, I could bring awareness to PDA as an official diagnosis and on and on… but that doesn’t change a heart.
Forcing more on the schools and teachers doesn’t encourage compassion.
Let’s be brutally honest…
The school districts with the best, most innovative and effective special education programs with the highest ratings of parent satisfaction are the school districts where the life and education of a special education student is VALUED just as much as a general education student. Where my 5th grade daughter, who can not read or write, is VALUED just as much as the valedictorian. If anyone does not feel this way with their whole heart and is still working in special education, I can only hope their conscious will urge them to walk away.
This should not be about egos or pride or money or who knows more… this is about a person. This is about VALUING a person with a very differently wired brain the SAME as anyone else. This is about seeing special education as an opportunity to show genuine compassion to a vulnerable student, not as an inconvenience and waste of resources.
The culture of a school district is determined by the way they treat, educate, view and provide for their most vulnerable students. Period.
