When Isla was five years old we attempted our first ever family vacation.
My parents, two brothers, two daughters, and my hubby and I stayed at a family-friendly resort hotel in central Texas. There were daily activities for the kids, a lazy river, and everything we needed or wanted on site. It was a beautiful place, but my girl just could not handle the activity.
It drove her crazy to know that we were in a hotel room and all her family was just a few doors away. She was restless and relentless.
She would wake up at 6 am with nonstop requests to go to my parents’ room, but when she got there, she would ask to come back to my room, etc. That would go on and on all day.
We would go to dinner, and something would trigger her and she’d want a different chair or different food or different drink. Whenever one of us went to the bathroom, all of a sudden her world was not right, and she would want to go to the bathroom or want everyone to go with her to the bathroom.
I was tired and already dreading going back to work when I reached a breaking point on the night of the outdoor movie.
There was a spacious lawn with a large, inflatable movie screen, and all the guests were invited to watch a movie outdoors and make s’mores over an open fire.
Isla loved to be outside, and I thought maybe—just maybe—it was late enough that she would lie on a blanket and rest.
Oh no.
The girl was up and down the hill, getting blankets for everyone from a bin the hotel provided. She dropped the blankets and picked them up again, and tried to fold them, and brought them to us, then took them back, then wanted popcorn, then dropped the popcorn, then asked to go back to the room, then asked to come back outside, it was exhausting.
Finally on her 287th trip back to the blanket bin, she tripped over a young couple lying down close to us and fell on them. I was in a fury. Crazy mom voice was screaming in my head, telling me I’d never be able to take a vacation and railing against my family for making me come here with them even though they knew this kind of thing was nearly impossible and almost always embarrassing.
I honestly thought we would never take a vacation again.
BUT the next summer when Isla was six, we attempted a cruise.
Like the first family vacation, because of all the people and activity, it was just too much stimulation for her. The cruise line offered a daily kid’s camp at the rear of the boat where you could drop off your child for daily activities, crafts, games, etc. We were told they had extra help for special needs children, so we tried it out and were given a pager in case of emergency.
Right about the time I ramped up enough guts to unveil my “I-have-birthed-two-giant-babies” bod to all the cruise goers and the open ocean, convinced Greg to finish lathering sunscreen on my back, and adjusted my laying down position just right to hide my stretch marks, create a faux thigh gap and make my stomach pooch look that much smaller…we would get paged.
For me, that trip was all about acceptance. When Isla was inside my belly I promised to show her the world. But if Isla wasn’t ready to see the world, maybe that was OK, too. If we never got a “normal” vacation again, maybe that was OK too.
Then came our third annual family vacation, and we were getting more and more ambitious with our destinations. This time we would be spending several days in Washington, DC, and New York City.
I was terrified.
I had daymares of Isla, now seven years old, wandering the streets of New York alone and lost. I researched child leashes and read blogs by parents who were for or against them. In the end, I decided to buy a leash just in case, but we also bought some umbrella strollers because even though our girls were grown, it would be a lot of walking. I was 3 months pregnant at the time with Major boy, so I was in no condition to be carrying kiddos.
Well, guess what?
Isla did great.
With the exception of a short-lived meltdown at Ford Theatre, she did awesome.
She was fascinated with all of the different modes of transportation. She loved the plane and subway and trolleys. All of the hustle and bustle kept her entertained and stimulated just enough. I believe that Isla started maturing around that time. She still wasn’t catching up to her age level, but still, she was maturing.
Then guys, came family vacation number four since Isla has been born. She was nine years old and boy did we go BIG.
My brother decided on a destination wedding for his bride and we were not gonna miss it.
It was in HAWAII.
I had a lot of ideas. Ideas for how to survive an 8 hour flight. Ideas for how to handle potty breaks and schedule snack times and settle the sensory overload that comes with a lot of family all in one place and manage the impulsivity that the excitement of a destination family wedding brings for Isla.
I documented the whole trip on Instagram if you are interested… what a week it was.
I asked my followers for prayers and to light candles, and meditate a few extra minutes or just shoot out some positive vibes to the universe for us to survive this first long flight.
8 bags of goldfish, 5 bags of fruit snacks, 6 chewy granola bars, like a bajillion juices and waters, 5 total onboard bathroom trips (who knows how many total) and many movies including 3 “Coco” showings later…
We were in HAWAII!
Isla had zero rough spots. ZERO.
2 things/ideas that I thought would help Isla and did not…
First, if you have been following this series you know that Isla is a helper. I knew we had to incorporate something that would make her feel like she was helping and in charge. So she got to roll luggage and scan her own boarding pass AND we let her pick a new doll.
There is something about a doll for Isla. She loves caring, changing, feeding… it makes her feel important and needed. BUT as soon as we hit that airport, the people and sounds and hustle and bustle and buzz of the plane and excitement of it all, that doll was long gone.
Second thing was a timer for seat changes. We decided to time Isla with one hour sitting next to a different family member so she could enjoy new company each hour. We had a total of 9 family members so this would have been perfect. HOWEVER, Isla decided that she did in fact want to switch seats several times but whenever SHE wanted. Not on a timer. Fine by me!
The 3 things that helped us most 1. snacks, snacks and more snacks 2. switching seats but only at Isla’s request 3. this wonderful, beautiful life-saver of a contraption called a Touch Screen Entertainment Center on the back of each seat.
Isla watched whatever she wanted, played games and slept when she wanted and before we knew it we were checking into our Airbnb on the dreamy island of Oahu where it sounds like the soothing rainforest sounds app is playing on repeat all day long.
The wedding rehearsal dinner was a luau… check out Isla girl… the only one of our group to volunteer for this OF COURSE.
Isla amazed us on this trip. The only problems we had was when it came to car rides. We were in 2 different vehicles and she was so adamant to drive with her relatives which was fine except that June wanted equal turns. It was tough.
Also when Isla got tired… ISLA GOT TIRED. But we were all patient. We didn’t push her too hard when she was that tired. She refused pictures and certain seating arrangements but it was totally fine … we were just riding the rollercoaster with her and going with the flow.
The number one reason we used an Airbnb for this trip was for Isla. When we travel with family, Isla wants to, *ahem* Isla HAS TO be with and see all family members within her direct or peripheral view at all times or else her world is just not right. So to still get the hotel/resort experience we decided to only do 2 nights at a large resort. While we were at the Hilton Hawaiian Village on Waikiki Beach we were able to fulfill Isla’s dream for the week.
Since day 1 Isla noticed the bustling trolleys.
I don’t know what is so special about buses, trolleys and trains for Isla. The excitement of it all? Paying and scanning a ticket? Sensory stimulating as it subtly bounces her up and down? People watching? Waving to strangers?
She loved every minute of that ride.
We had adjoining rooms so the challenge was Isla going back and forth, in and out, through front doors and adjoining doors over and over.
“Oh mom, mom, mom you need ice? I get ice OK mom? OK?”
“Dad, dad, dad, daaaaaddd! You want coffee? I go Starbucks buy coffee? Peese dad I get coffee you!!”
“Mom, mom. Mom. You need more towels? I go get some? I ask lady that OK? Yes No?”
It’s funny.
There was a time I didn’t know if Isla would ever talk to us. Now I say, “Oh my God Isla Love, amor, please stop talking for 5 minutes so mommy can think OK? 5 minutes. OK?”
Isla: “OK OK OK mom. 5 minutes? Mom I no talk 5 minutes? Mom, mom, mom I put timer your phone 5 minutes? Mom mom how you do timer? Mom!”
That week was a huge test for my Isla girl and I’m so grateful to report that it looks like we might just be able to show Isla the world after all.
1 comment
Love this so much! Never give up!