OK friends we have a lot to cover…
I am going to attempt to keep this to a 10 minute quick and dirty review of 10 years of parent training, reading, researching, online tutorials and certifications.
Let me put this DISCLAIMER right up front…
I AM NOT A THERAPIST. I AM NOT CERTIFIED IN ABA THERAPY. I AM NOT A BEHAVIORAL SPECIALIST. I am just a momma that knows a lot about her daughter who has autism and pathological demand avoidance. I am just a momma who has read a crap load for many late nights and studied endlessly. I am just a momma who happens to be great friends with a group of very special people at an ABA clinic that changed my life.
(ABA will be talked about in detail in the next post if you don’t know what that stands for.)
Everything you are about to read is from MY perspective, MY thought process, MY life experiences, and what works for MY little girl.
Take what you need, respect what you don’t.
We already learned how to identify behavior vs emotion. If you have no idea what I am talking about, please read the post before this one before you go any further.
You and me and Isla and everyone in the whole world exhibit behaviors that serve a purpose. We do what we do for a reason. We behave the way we do for either ATTENTION, TO GET ACCESS TO AN ITEM/PLACE, TO ESCAPE/AVOID SOMETHING, or for SENSORY STIMULATION.
EVERYTHING EVERYONE DOES FITS ONE OF THESE FOUR REASONS WE BEHAVE THE WAY WE DO.
A teacher claps loudly in front of a noisy class to get ATTENTION. I walk to my kitchen TO GET ACCESS TO AN ITEM, like a cookie, I mean… no… a carrot. I walk to my kitchen to get a carrot. You buckle your seat belt when you drive TO AVOID SOMETHING, to avoid a ticket and to escape injury. A person in a long ZOOM meeting clicks their pen 1000 times because it is SENSORY STIMULATION to help deal with boredom.
Stay with me…
When Isla is exhibiting a behavior, the very first thing I do is identify which of the four it falls under. I can identify which one pretty quickly if I think about what happened right before she showed that behavior and I see what she gets in return for exhibiting that behavior.
Here is an example of each.
Scenario 1
Isla is spending time with her cousins and starts to hit. Right before this Major came out to play and everyone started playing with him and laughing at his cuteness. Since Isla started hitting, June came to get me and I pulled Isla aside for a break.
This one was ATTENTION. She wanted attention and guess what? She got it. She got someone’s (my) full undivided attention.
Scenario 2
Isla has been having issues with chewing her shirt collar. Every day when she comes home from school her shirt collar is soaked and ripped and a rash is developing on her collar bone from the constant moisture. After talking with the teacher, I find out that Isla starts chewing her shirt mid-afternoon almost every day before the daily math lesson. She struggles with math the most and the way she copes is by chewing to handle the anxiety.
This one was SENSORY STIMULATION. She was having issues coping and a sensory fixation got her through.
Scenario 3
On the way home from school each day she becomes fussy. She moans and groans and asks repeated questions and says my name hundreds of times over and over and over. When we get home and June takes out her homework, Isla escalates. She yells loudly which makes it hard for June to concentrate on her homework. In return, Isla gets her iPhone so that June can concentrate and I can start dinner and make sure Major is still alive after jumping off every piece of furniture we own.
This one was TO GET ACCESS TO AN ITEM. She wanted the iPhone and knew with enough bothersome behavior she would get it.
Scenario 4
Isla begins to urinate on her clothing at school. On purpose. The teacher notices this happens every day before writing. Isla hates worksheets. She has difficulty holding a pencil and she cannot write well independently. During writing time she will urinate on her clothes even though she is fully potty-trained and has used the restroom independently for years. So the paraprofessional removes Isla from her desk and helps her clean up in the bathroom, changes her clothes and let’s Isla help to put the clothes in the classroom washer and dryer.
This one was TO ESCAPE/AVOID SOMETHING. Isla used “escape by urination” and it worked like a charm.
OK I hope you are following because we are moving quickly.
PREVENTION IS KEY. Friends… let me repeat. PREVENTION IS KEY.
For ATTENTION… give attention. Yes. Give attention BEFORE they need to engage in challenging behavior for attention.
Scenario 1 (revisited)
Isla is spending time with her cousins and Major is about to head outside to join them. I head outside and say, “Isla girl, man I wish your cousins had some juices and crackers for a snack. Hum. I could use your help.” Isla gets my attention way in advance and she gets love and appreciation from her cousins as she brings snacks to everyone even while Major entertains them all with his cuteness.
For SENSORY STIMULATION… first decide if it even needs to be addressed. If a sensory behavior causes harm to your child or others, prevents them from participating in daily activities, or isolates them then yes, you need to intervene. IF NOT… choose your battles wisely. Next, once you decide you need to help them with this particular sensory stimulation behavior, get creative with REPLACEMENTS.
Scenario 2 (revisited)
Isla has been having issues with chewing her shirt collar. Every day when she comes home from school her shirt collar is soaked and ripped and a rash is developing on her collar bone from the constant moisture. After talking with the teacher, I find out that Isla starts chewing her shirt mid-afternoon almost every day before the daily math lesson. Knowing that she struggles with math the most and the way she copes is by chewing to handle the anxiety I buy a cute colorful rubber necklace from a sensory toy website and we call it the Math Necklace. Isla knows that when math time comes she goes to her backpack for her necklace and has something to chew on while trying her best at math.
For GETTING ACCESS TO AN ITEM/PLACE… let’s talk about schedules and “first and then”. If you provide your child with REGULAR access to the item they want they won’t need to exhibit challenging behavior for it. Visual calendars work wonders (like the one a couple of posts earlier… reread!) “First and then” is so simple and I use it for all my children and don’t forget to reword “work” to sound like fun which is a classic Mary Poppins move.
Scenario 3 (revisited)
On the way home from school each day I show Isla the visual calendar of the day. It has a picture of our car and our house and her homework and her iPhone. She stares at this calendar on the way home. I talk to her the whole way explaining each picture and using first and then like this, “Isla how was your day at school? I am glad you are home. I have some fruit snacks for you to eat if you want some. We will be home soon and right after you do your cut and paste art project you can have your iPhone. Isn’t that fun? First art project and then iPhone.”
