Onward!
Next up is the 6th characteristic of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) which is obsessive behavior, often focused on people.
This was another characteristic that showed up later in Isla’s life but boy did it show up! I would guesstimate Isla was around 8 or 9 years old when we started noticing this unique component of PDA.
The only way I can paint a picture for you is to tell you four short stories. Yes, I will keep them short.
Let’s start with good Ol’ Saint Nick. So a couple Christmases ago, Isla discovered the “Santa” apps where you can program Santa Claus to call you or text you or FaceTime you. It usually consists of prerecorded messages and some are WAY creepier than others but oh my goodness do we hear HO! HO! HO! ALL. YEAR. ROUND.
She loves it.
She talks to him.
She answers the same every time.
Santa: “Ho! Ho! Ho! Well hello there! What’s your name?”
Isla: “Hi Santa! My name Isla.”
Santa: “Have you been naughty or nice this year?”
Isla: “Nice! Right mom? Nice Santa. Super nice.”
Santa: “That’s fantastic! What do you want for Christmas?”
Isla: “A 4-runner.”
Santa: “What was that?”
Isla yells: “A 4-runner!!”
Santa: “Oh! OK! See you soon! Bye Bye! Ho! Ho! Ho!”
Isla calls and recalls and talks and laughs and has conversations with this app over and over and over, and then she passes the phone around so we can all get our precious time with Santa too. Naturally.
Then there are songs. This one is not as “out of the ordinary” but still a little more extreme than most. Isla fixates on songs. When she hears a song that she likes—regardless of genre, artist, or theme—it becomes the song of the week or month or longer.
But don’t you crush on a song for a while sometimes and play it over and over in your car?
Well, Isla too. She has gone through, “All About that Bass,” “Sugar,” “Can’t Stop the Feeling,” “Staying Alive,” “Despacito”, “Let Me Love You,” “Diamonds and Daughters,” and a gospel song called “Into my Heart” but her all time favorite that never, never gets old is “This Girl is on Fire” by Alicia Keys.
Now let’s have a chat about the grandparents.
Isla LOVES her grandparents. Isla is OBSESSED with BEING with her grandparents. I attribute this to the fact that all of her grandparents LOVE Isla and all create unique spaces in their homes where Isla is allowed to be herself. Period.
So basically their homes are like her own home without rules and grouchy momma. Very dreamy for Isla.
The picture above is of 3-year-old Isla spending time with her silly Abuelo. They are still just as silly together.
Yes, this is a blessing. Big time. The fact that Isla has so much family who enjoys her company despite all of her oddities and challenges is beyond comprehension to me at times, but with this comes some hard spots.
Isla asks for her grandparents (different ones depending on the day) ALL. THE. TIME. EVERY. DAY.
Guys, you need to understand me. Please, do not mistake this for exaggeration. Isla will ask for her grandparents HUNDREDS of times per day. These are real numbers, real estimations. HUNDREDS.
This can be very draining. Exhausting. For Isla and her parents.
Lastly, I want to talk about a biggie for us that kinda blends in with some other posts but we will introduce it here and tie it all in a little further down the road.
Isla becomes very obsessed with planned events. VERY.
So let’s say the teacher sends home a permission slip for a field trip that will take place in 8 weeks. For 8 weeks my friends, for the entire 8 weeks, DAILY, Isla will ask about this field trip.
“When is it? Tomorrow? Today? I pack bag? I go in bus? When? Who going? When? Now? Mom I go now. Mom take me to bus! I no be late.”
For 8 weeks. Again, draining is an understatement.
You may be thinking, “this is an easy fix. Just don’t tell her. Just wait until the day of the field trip and let her know.”
The problem with this method goes hand in hand with the next few posts regarding behavior.
Isla thrives on information. She needs to know where we are going and when and what it will look like, etc. so that she can cope and enjoy those events without huge behavior issues.
There is a delicate balance here which we will get to next!
