Oh this is such a good one!
So let’s review really quick. The 3rd characteristic of PDA involves excessive mood swings and impulsivity. Isla has great difficulty regulating her emotions and we have to be very mindful that her mood swings are in response to real or perceived pressure and driven by the need to control.
Soooo what do we do? How can we help? What can teachers do? What can parents do?
The very first thing to do is throw away all your pride and ego and traditional views of education and parenting.
Why?
Well, specifically with PDA, this particular characteristic can be the toughest. Impulsivity is exhausting to control or prevent and mood swings can wear any parent down quick. Frustration will build quickly and many people, parents and teachers lose their cool many times without FULLY understanding that this child CAN NOT HELP IT.
Isla is impulsive which is exacerbated by her ADHD diagnosis. Her mood swings are almost unbelievable in nature and timing. This is not because Isla is spoiled. Isla is not naughty. This is how she copes with a world that was not created for her. This is the way her brain works. Period.
You will have to do what society calls “give in” a lot but when you view it as compassion for a person that experiences the world different than you, a person differently wired… it’s not giving in.
It’s actually the ultimate gift to create an environment where someone is allowed to be themselves and live and interact how their brain prefers to live and interact.
Let’s look at impulsivity and mood swings separately.
Impulsivity : Food, Sleep, Activity
Home example:
I want to give a quick disclaimer here because I am a pharmacist. It’s just another hat I wear. So for anyone thinking that impulsive behavior when related to autism or ADHD can be magically fixed with medications, you would be wrong… kind of.
You see as a pharmacist I know that to put any blanket promise on any medication for ALL patients is just wrong. EVERYONE responds to medications differently in what is nothing short of miraculous and fascinating. The way medications travel throughout your body and are metabolized and moved around through receptors and catalysts and the involvement of your vital organs like your liver and brain and kidneys… well there are so many things that have to happen as a medication is ingested there is NO WAY it could produce the EXACT same outcome in every person.
Let me make this quick. We have tried ADHD medications on Isla. In fact, we have tried many, many different medications in numerous combinations and administration times and doses.
None of this worked for my Isla. I wish it had. I know many families and children whose lives were changed by a simple tablet so in the case of the special need parent I encourage you to ALWAYS keep an open mind.
So now that you know Isla is not on medication, let me share with you what we have noticed makes a big difference in her impulsivity from day to day.
FOOD
DO NOT WORRY. This is not a gluten-free rant. Are you relieved?
I have a couple of friends that implemented a totally gluten free diet for their children and it worked wonders so yes, it works, but no, it’s not for everyone.
My Isla girl LOVES food. She gets this from her momma. WE LOVE FOOD. We literally make noises when we eat. We “oh” and “ah” and “oh my God this is sooooo good” and lick our fingers and lips and gross everyone out. It is our way. Isla DOES NOT have food aversions. She wants to eat it all and try it all.
To force her to not eat or eat certain things again places demands on her that exacerbates her PDA.
Isla has a balanced diet BUT we notice huge differences when her day is filled with chips and candy and coke. This could be from a birthday party or event at school or a family BBQ. During the week when meals are consistent and sugar is limited, her impulsivity is noticeably less.
We also use the fact that PDA makes Isla feel like she is a REAL GROWN ADULT to our advantage. Mommy and Daddy are adults and love salad soooo as soon as I point that out, indirectly, of course, Isla wants salad too.
This is not about restriction. This is about balance. This is great for ALL kids.
SLEEP
Oh sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep. Man I miss sleeping. Anyway, I digress.
When Isla was 2 years old she was diagnosed with severe obstructive sleep apnea which required surgery. Her sleep has always been an issue and EEGs show an odd undetermined seizure profile every time she sleeps.
We have tried prescription medications, CBD oil topical and oral, essential oils topical and oral, white noise machines and melatonin liquid and gummies and numerous combinations of the above. The magic combination for us has been melatonin gummies and essential oils diffused near her bed AND a tent over her bed AND a lava lamp courtesy of her Auntie Lyssy. I will tell you that for Isla, when she gets her 10-11 hours of sleep, that is her sweet spot.
Sleep is extremely influential for Isla in how her impulsivity will play out throughout the day. We make sleep priority for her. This is important for ALL kids.
Physical Activity
Isla is about 5’1” and weights a little over 100 pounds. She is 11. She doesn’t play basketball or gymnastics like her sister because organized play is just a whole bunch of pesky demands in her mind that get in the way of fun. BUT, Isla loves the outdoors…. LIKE LOVES IT, CRAVES IT. She loves swimming pools and long walks and her trampoline. When she is restless, getting her involved in a physical activity works wonders. There is great research and complicated medical terms and detailed studies about hormones and chemical reactions in the brain that PROVE this but you can google that anytime.
Which is a perfect segway into something commonly done in schools…
School example:
Physical Activity
Have any of you ever walked into a classroom to find a color behavior chart or a clothespin chart where the students behavior is categorized as red or green or blue? Have you noticed that a common form of “discipline” is NO RECESS TIME?
Hear me out. I am going to try to say this with no sarcasm… so add however much you think is appropriate.
The students most commonly in trouble are those with special needs or 504 or ADHD or ADD, correct? Which means it LEGITIMATELY is ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE for them to “behave” exactly like you want, correct? Physical activity, exercise, and free space and fresh air is the best EVIDENCE- BASED way to help children with impulse control. And a common punishment for the exact way their diagnosis presents is to take away physical activity, exercise, free space and fresh air.
I am just gonna leave that right there.
Lastly, because maybe just maybe a really high up administrator or athletic director will read this and their positive changes and actions will help even a hand full of students…
Let’s be honest. There are not enough school districts putting money or time or attention into REAL, EFFECTIVE, INCLUSIVE, ACTIVE ADAPTIVE PE programs with CERTIFIED, PASSIONATE, COMPASSIONATE ADAPTIVE PE instructors.
I will also leave that nugget right there.
Mood Swings: Laughter is the best medicine.
Home/School example:
Mood swings are not uncommon. They happen to you and me all the time.
Isla’s mood swings are different in that they are more extreme and opposing and can start and stop in a split second which I am about to show you.
After a lot of trail and error, a lot of being a student of Isla, a lot of observation and distraction techniques, we have learned that laughter is Isla’s best medicine.
During a mood swing, the best way to help Isla is to distract her with something she loves or is interested in or something that will make her laugh.
So let’s say Isla is in an angry mood and kicking a chair loudly. I would say something like, “Hum I wonder what is on the Food Network today? Man, I really feel like making cupcakes.” Isla stops kicking. Comes over to me. “Mom we make cupcakes?” Isla asks. “Yeah! Watch the show and then let’s google cupcake pictures and pick one to make!”
I am a master at positive distraction for Isla, but it took 8-9 years of practice and 8-9 years of messing up a lot. OK, OK, really I mean yelling a lot.
For parents and teachers alike this means you HAVE TO KNOW YOUR KIDDO/STUDENT WELL. Very well. Maybe he loves Star Wars so you can start a conversation about the latest Star Wars movie when he is sad. Maybe she loves Pokémon and you have stickers to show her when she is mad at someone.
For Isla it’s laughter (and a thousand other things) and the easiest way to make Isla laugh is for someone to “hurt” themselves. I know, I know that sounds horrible but come on… there is a whole show devoted to bloopers of people getting accidentally hurt or falling or tripping, etc. and WE PAY THE WINNERS MONEY if they make us laugh the most. This is a common source of laughter for EVERYONE!
Ok now for this special video. This was hard for me guys, but I want to help you. So please, YOU HAVE TO READ THIS FIRST BEFORE WATCHING.
The first 3 min and 40 seconds of this video will make you sad. It makes me sad. This is how Isla is almost everyday after school. Exhausted. Slurring words. Refusing to rest or nap. Indecisive. Repeats my name over and over and over but has no request.
Then (right at the 3:40 mark) momma “pretends” that her hand slips from the wheel and makes a funny jerk movement forward… and… magic.
The last 5 minutes will make you smile so big, you will forget you were sad the first 3 minutes.
Also know that the initial part was almost 5 full minutes but I sped up the video to shorten this for you a bit.
Turn the volume way up.
